Becca Returns
by Rokchik70
Summary: Becca returns to Hollyoaks following the death of her Father...


Chapter One

As she walked through the front door of the flat, Becca felt her insides tighten. Everything about this place reminded her of life before. Her old life. A life that he was part of. Nothing could be the same now. Her Father's death had indeed brought her to her senses, and now she knew exactly what she had to do. What was right and proper. What her father would have wanted. She had to talk to Justin and she couldn't leave it any longer.

Picking up her 'phone, she paused. Should she text first and make sure they could meet somewhere private and uninterrupted? This was not a conversation they could have on the 'phone after all. Or should she ring and ask him to come straight round – that way she wouldn't have to wait. But what if he picked something up in her voice? What if she gave it away before they'd even spoken? It hadn't occurred to her that he may not even be around. There had been no contact between them these past 3 weeks, so why should she assume he'd be at home? He could be in Essex with his family, looking for a new home. They could have found one for all she knew. She was upset at first that he hadn't been in touch, although she knew it was for the best. After all, it had made her decision much easier. She decided that she would go round and hoped she'd find him alone – if Liz or the twins were in she would say that Nancy needed someone to talk to, and ask him to come back to the flat with her.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked pale and tired and her hair could do with a brush. She thought about putting on some make up and doing something with her hair, then decided against it. She was stalling and she knew it. She had to go round before her nerve failed her. She'd been here once before – at Christmas when she knew she had to see him before she thought too much about it and backed out. She'd crossed the line that day, knowing at the time that people would get hurt and that hearts would break. She'd dreaded this day, but had known all along that it would come. She was about to break someone's heart, and her own was breaking at the thought.

She walked up the steps slowly, still not entirely sure she was doing the right thing.

"Becca!" she heard Mandy calling her. Why now? She didn't want anything to delay this conversation. She carried on up the stairs, pretending that she hadn't heard.

"Becca!" Mandy again, louder this time. Sighing, she turned round and walked back down towards her friend.

"It's good to have you back. How are you?" Mandy hugged her friend warmly.

"Oh, you know…" Becca's voice trailed off.

"You're doing the right thing you know. The sooner you end it, the sooner you and Jake can be happy again. Get back to the way you were. Sorry, I shouldn't be stopping you should I? I guess you want to get this over and done with?"

"Over and done with? This is just the start Mandy. Do you have any idea how I'm feeling? Any idea what this means to me? Whichever way I look, I can't see myself feeling truly happy ever again. I never set out to do this…I never wanted to hurt anyone, and now I'm going to. Oh God Mandy he doesn't deserve this…" she started sobbing and reached out for her friend, needing the comfort of her embrace.

"He'll get over it."

Becca looked up at Mandy, surprised by the coldness of her eyes.

"He's a child Becca. No, no he's not a child. He's a devious manipulator, he's dangerous and he's targeted you for months. He was waiting for you to weaken and as soon as he saw a chink in your armour he moved in. That boy is trouble and the sooner you do this the better."

"You're right." Her words had sobered Becca up. She knew that the anticipation was the worst thing, and although this was going to be a tough conversation, she would feel better as soon as it started.

"The sooner I do this the better. You're right." She seemed to have brightened up and Mandy was pleased at the effect her words had on her friend. She couldn't – and wouldn't – understand this thing with Justin, but she was glad Becca had finally seen sense.

"I'll be in Il Gnosh…I'll wait for you if you like?"

"No. No, I'll be OK. I'm going to talk to Justin and then go and meet Jake at work. I'll be fine. But thanks for the offer." Becca smiled gratefully at her friend.

"Good luck." Mandy squeezed her friend's hand for reassurance before she left.

Becca took a deep breath and mounted the stairs a second time, feeling her heartbeat quicken the closer she got to his house. She paused outside his front door, trying to slow her breathing down before she rang the doorbell. He beat her to it – as she reached out for the bell, the front door opened.

"I saw you two on the stairs…come in." He walked back into the lounge. A sudden fear gripped her. What was wrong? Had he heard them talking? She hoped not – she needed to explain everything to him, and that was going to be a long conversation. She walked into the lounge, no longer sure how she felt.

"Well go on then. Tell me." He looked up her expectantly. Defiantly.

"Tell you what?"

"I'm not stupid Becca. I know why you're here. Let's get this over with quickly so you can go home and play happy families with Jake…its' over, isn't it? That's what you're here to tell me."

Looking at him standing there with his arms crossed, looking young and lost and angry, she felt so guilty for all the pain she had caused him.

"Oh Justin..."

There was an uneasy silence as Justin continued to stare at Becca. She didn't know where to start, how to begin this conversation that she knew was going to change his life forever.

"Well I'll save you a job Becca. This isn't going anywhere is it? You have too much to lose, and let's face it…I'm hardly the catch of the century am I? I know you've got Jake, but more importantly you've got your career, and I love you too much to see you risk that." He had tears in his eyes now, his face softening as he spoke.

"It has to end doesn't it? Just tell me one thing though…please? Tell me that it's only ending because it has to, and not because you want it to. At least let me know I've not been dreaming these past few months, that they've been real, that you did love me."

Becca was crying openly now. "I do love you Justin, I'll always love you." She reached for his hand but he snatched it back.

"Don't Becca." He knew that to touch her now would weaken his resolve, and he needed to stay strong. "From now on, you're just my teacher…you're Mrs Dean." The look on his face told her how much he hated calling her that. "Please go now…don't make this any harder for me…please."

She looked into his eyes and smiled through her tears.

"Justin, I don't want to end this. It's not over, it can never be over. I love you…I've always loved you."

"It has to be over Becca…we have to be realistic. Where can we go from here?"

"We don't have to go anywhere Justin…"

He interrupted her angrily

"I'm not running around behind Jake's back anymore. Do you know how that makes me feel? That I can't tell people how happy I am? That I can't walk down the street holding your hand, that I can't kiss you unless it's behind closed doors? I thought that having you would be enough Becca…but it isn't…" he looked at the floor as he said this. It _was_ enough for him, but he knew that he was a weaker man for it and he had to make a stand while he still had some pride.

"We don't have to run away, and we don't have to hide. I'm going to tell him Justin. I'm going to tell everyone. I want to be with you…only you."

This time he let her hold him, and they tasted each others tears as they kissed, sobbing and laughing at the same time. They were so lost in each other that they didn't hear the key in the lock, didn't hear Liz's sharp intake of breath as she saw them.

"How long have we got before they come back?" Becca asked Justin.

"Too late." They spun round to see Liz in the doorway.

She calmly shut the door behind her and walked into the kitchen. They watched in silence as she took her coat off and filled the kettle. She plugged it in and turned to look at them.

"The twins are away tonight which means we've got all night to talk. And I get the feeling this is going to be a long night."

Becca looked relieved, "Thanks Liz, I…"

"Don't mistake my silence for approval Becca. I'm waiting to hear what you've got to say for yourself…what you've both got to say for yourselves..." she shot a sharp look in Justin's direction "…before I pass judgement. But I'll tell you one thing…from where I'm standing, it's not looking good at the moment."

"I appreciate you hearing me out Liz."

Justin held her hand "Hearing US out Becca."

"Just go and sit down and I'll bring the coffee in."

Liz took a deep breath as they walked back into the lounge. She could hardly believe what she was seeing, and yet…somewhere in the back of her mind she wasn't surprised. She didn't know if she'd expected (or suspected?) this, but she knew that she'd been almost prepared for this moment. What she didn't know was how she felt about it. Her first reaction was to let rip at Becca – she was Justin's teacher and he was only 16! He wasn't your average 16 year old, she knew that…but he was still her son. And Becca would be every Mother's dream daughter in law…but not when your son was still only 16 – a child – and she was so much older. Liz groaned inwardly – she'd almost forgotten about Jake. God this was a mess…she could kill Justin! But she knew that she had to stay calm and hear him out. He deserved to be treated like an adult…he'd certainly been acting like one.

Carrying the tray into the lounge she looked at them on the sofa holding hands. Whatever she felt, she could see they were happy together and it pained her, knowing that this could never work, that they'd almost certainly get hurt. Her mothering instinct kicked in as she thought of Justin, broken-hearted. How could Becca have allowed this to happen? Why couldn't she control herself? She busied herself pouring out the coffee to calm herself down.

"OK. I want to know everything…and I mean everything. And I want to hear it from the beginning. When did it start? How did it start?"

She had to hear them out before she made her feelings known – needed them to know that someone was prepared to listen to them. And then she would tell them what they probably both already knew…that it was over. That it was an impossible dream. That they needed to get back to the real world. And that she and Justin were moving.

"I don't know how it started Liz, or exactly when. But I guess I've always felt protective of Justin. "

"Protective!" Liz snorted. "You call this protection?"

"Sorry, sorry…bad choice of words. But you can't deny that I've done a lot for him – put myself out, lied to the school, lied to my husband. I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't felt something for him. It just took me a while to realise, that's all." She smiled wistfully at Justin.

"I started this Mum. I pursued Becca." Liz started to laugh.

"You're a child Justin! How could you pursue a grown woman? Your teacher at that." She shook her head. It was going to be harder than she thought to stay calm if this was what she was going to have to listen to. "I knew you had a crush on her, but she took advantage."

"NO!" the forcefulness of Becca's tone took them both by surprise. "It wasn't like that Liz. It wasn't…" she looked down at her hands. "Yes I knew he had a crush on me, and yes he did pursue me. He kissed me at school once. There was nobody else around and he kissed me. And I think that even you'd agree – she looked at Justin – that it was not expected nor encouraged by me."

Now it was Justin's turn to look sheepish. "And it wasn't welcome either, you did make that clear to me, but I ignored you." He squeezed her hand. "Sorry…" Becca shook her head to indicate that it was fine, that he'd been forgiven.

"Did you know he came to see me on the morning of my wedding? He tried to talk me out of it, tried to tell me that I didn't love Jake, that I was making a mistake…"

"Oh Jay…" Liz looked at her son, imagining his youthful idealism as he spoke to Becca that morning.

"The thing is, I knew I was, but I didn't see any other alternatives. I certainly wasn't thinking of Justin in that way…"she trailed off, thinking about their exchange, her father interrupting them.

"And then after the arrest, when I visited him, I just found it so easy to talk to him." She laughed "I knew it was absurd, but it was such a relief to talk to someone, and such a surprise to speak to someone who understood me. But I was scared." She turned to look at Justin.

"You can see that now can't you? That I was scared back then…that's why I kept pushing you away." He nodded

They certainly had Liz's attention now. She hardly recognised this Justin that Becca was describing. She wasn't sure that she wanted to hear any more, but she needed them to go on, desperate to make some sense of it all.

"At the trial, I was so scared that you'd be found guilty…it suddenly hit me then that I was in too deep. That's when I knew I loved you." Justin smiled at her as she said this.

"Ok, that's enough! Spare me the Mills and Boon Becca please! Grown women, married women don't fall in love with 16 year old boys! You've fallen in love…no, convinced yourself that you've fallen in love with something that doesn't exist. What, did you think that Jay was going to be your knight in shining armour? That he'd rescue you from your boring life? He's 16 years old Becca – at what stage did you forget that?" Liz was shouting now, close to losing it.

"So what happened when he came out? You gave him a welcome home present to remember, I bet? So that's why he split up with Nicole – you gave him what she wouldn't. Oh Jay…" She let out a small sob.

"It wasn't like that Mum. I was never interested in Nicole, not like that anyway. It wasn't fair of me to string her along. But there was no 'homecoming' from Becca, nothing happened then."

"I've fought this for a long time Liz. Don't think I didn't consider what I had to lose – my marriage, my career – I know what the law thinks of people like me. I know what the dangers are…even by being honest with you."

Liz thought about what Becca was saying. There had been enough about teacher/pupil relationships in the press recently for her to know the risks to Becca. Justin may well be over 16, and she had no doubt that he'd consented, but Becca stood to lose everything if this came out. Liz softened slightly. Becca was intelligent and solid, not some flighty risk taker. She would have thought about this before committing herself, Liz could see that now.

"I know. Sorry Becca…this is just…difficult for me to hear. But I do want to." Becca smiled gratefully at Liz, seeing the warmth in the older woman's eyes.

"We talked after the trial, I told him that we could never be anything other than friends, and he accepted that Liz. Really accepted it. That's when I saw how much he'd grown up…how all this had changed him. And it wasn't a case of me wanting what I couldn't have – you have to believe that. But it was his acceptance and understanding that showed me that I hadn't been wrong. He was…IS…different. He's not like any other 16 year olds I know. That's when I knew that I wasn't going mad." She looked at Justin and then at Liz.

"But I still wasn't intending for anything to happen. I was still fighting it Liz." Her eyes filled up with tears now.

"I was trying to make a go of things with Jake, really I was."

Liz felt the tears in her own eyes – she knew how Becca must have felt, knew what it was like to be trapped in a marriage that wasn't working, but still desperate to make it right.

"So how…when did it change?" Liz's voice was gentle now. She looked at Justin who sighed.

"Christmas. It started at Christmas."

Thinking back to Christmas, Liz felt guilty now. How could she have left her 16 year old son alone at Christmas. She'd barely given it a second thought when he'd wanted to come home, still trying to sort out her own feelings about Ali's death and Richard's subsequent betrayal. They'd all been through so much that year – and Justin more than most admittedly – that she just wanted them all to relax and do what they wanted while they could. So it was her fault. She could have stopped this if she'd only been tougher on him. But looking at them now she wondered if that was true. They'd been through so much to get to this stage, Becca especially…Liz was starting to realise that this was real

"We spent the night together…Christmas night." Becca's voice was small as she spoke, waiting for the inevitable question and Liz didn't disappoint.

"You spent the night? All night?" Becca nodded.

"How did you manage that? Where did Jake think you were?" Jake…Liz had tried not to think about him up til now. He was another - more deadly – complication.

"He was passed out Liz – he'd drunk so much that he fell asleep on the sofa by teatime. He was out for the count." Liz nodded at her to go on.

"And…it just happened…"

"We kissed the day before…for the first time I mean. I asked Becca to come back Mum, I asked her to come over on Christmas Day."

"And I couldn't help myself Liz. I couldn't stay away." Becca started crying now and Liz could see tears in Justin's eyes too.

"I don't know about you but I need a break. Let me get us some more drinks. Do either of you want anything to eat?" They shook their heads. Liz wasn't surprised, she didn't feel like eating either. While she waited for the kettle to boil, she thought back over what she'd been hearing. It was clear that this was more serious than she'd thought, that they were in deeper than she could have imagined. The woman in her wanted to see this work, thrilled at the romance…but the mother in her wanted it to stop, right now. She looked at them again, holding hands and talking, looking so serious. Between her and Becca they were about to break Justin's heart.

Becca rubbed her eyes and sighed.

"I can't believe how supportive Liz is being. It's a good omen." But Justin wasn't so sure.

"She's just listening at the moment –we don't know what she thinks yet."

"But aren't you happy it's out in the open? This is just the start Justin – this is the first step. And once we've got this out of the way, things can only get easier, can't they?" She leant her head against his shoulder. "I meant what I said – I want to be with you. I know what that means, I know there's going to be a struggle ahead, but I know that we can get through it together." He kissed the top of her head.

"I am happy, you know I am. But let's not be too hasty…this is going to be hard on everyone, not just us. We can't get carried away with ourselves Becca. Once we've spoken to Mum then you and I need to talk. We need to agree exactly what happens next and make sure we're both prepared for it." She looked up at him.

"I am prepared." She kissed him softly.

"Then I am too…"

They were unaware that Liz had heard this last exchange. This night was full of surprises for her – she had seriously underestimated Justin, she knew that now. The more she heard, the more she felt compelled to support them, fight for them even. What was she thinking? Here was her 16 year old son with his 24 year old married girlfriend…who was also his teacher! No, this was wrong and couldn't be condoned. She had to take a step back again and remember who was involved here.

She put the tray on the table.

"It's OK, I'll play Mum." Becca poured the drinks.

"So…" Liz was ready to hear more now.

"What happened after Christmas?"

Becca looked uneasy now.

"Well, I realised I'd crossed a line…I told him it was over, that we couldn't see each other again." She knew how this must sound to Liz, and saw her looking at Justin.

"But it happened again at New Year? You said you'd stayed with Nancy, but I'm assuming that was to cover the fact that you were seeing Becca again?"

"No…I went back with Nancy because I wanted…needed to see Becca." He looked at Becca now. "It was the wrong thing to do, making her feel uneasy in her own home."

"And you Becca – weren't you worried that Justin would tell anyone? You've put an awful lot of trust in a 16 year old boy."

"He's not like that Liz, you know that."

"But you can't have been happy about it?

"No, I wasn't. But I knew why he was there and I felt bad for everything I put him through. Look, we've moved on from this now Liz. We tried to fight it…I tried to fight it, but whatever distance we put between ourselves…it was never far enough."

"Justin was prepared to give up his education for you – that's why he left school isn't it?" Liz had started to think back over the past few months – seemingly random events were coming to her head and making sense now.

"Yes…and it's why I talked him back Liz. I didn't want him making that kind of sacrifice for me…or for any girl, I still don't. It's his future and I don't want him to waste these opportunities." Liz bit her tongue. She wanted to ask how Becca could justify him giving up his youth for a much older woman but now was not the time.

"So what changed then? What pivotal event made you go back? Was it seeing him in his school uniform again?" Liz knew she sounded angry now, but she couldn't help it.

"Mum!" Justin shot her a warning stare.

"It was when I told Becca we were moving to Essex." He looked at her then, remembering how she'd told him that she didn't want him to go. He'd had an awful week – between her, Nicole and Nancy he'd almost felt beaten, then she'd told him that, and he'd practically floated home. Was that really just 2 months ago? So much had happened since, it seemed unreal.

"It started again on Valentine's Day."

Liz took a sip of her coffee. Her mind was reeling, she still had so many questions to ask, but felt that they'd done enough talking for one night. There was just one thing though.

"I don't know how to ask this…" she started uneasily.

"Yes Mum, we are being careful." Justin sounded as embarrassed as she did.

"No, that wasn't what I was going to ask. No…where do you go…when you want to…you know, be alone?" It had been bugging her – please don't say they'd been in Becca's marital bed. As much as she had little time for Jake, she knew that was the ultimate insult. Richard had done that to her – had one of his tarts in their bed, her bed…and it hurt. Becca and Justin looked at each other.

"Erm…here?" Justin looked at his Mum, not sure how she'd react. "And we went away…last month." Liz looked questioningly at the pair of them

"When you thought I was at the football academy reunion. Becca and I went away."

Sensing what Liz was thinking, Becca spoke up.

"It's not what you're thinking Liz, it wasn't a dirty weekend, it wasn't sordid. We just needed time on our own together, to do normal things, to be normal. I know it sounds stupid, being normal in a 4 star hotel, but we needed to see if it worked in the real world, without the drama and the secrets."

Liz nodded, she could understand that. She knew also that the real world that awaited them was far harsher than their cosy little hotel.

"I think I need to speak to Justin now Becca."

"Mum, whatever you're going to say to me is not going to change the way me and Becca feel about each other."

"I know Jay, I know…" she smiled sadly at them. "This is going to be hard you know." She looked at Becca now.

"For you especially. Have you thought about what you'll do next? Sorry, I'm sure you must have."

"Actually, that's why I came round to see Justin. I need to tell him what my plans are, what I have to do." She looked up at him.

"And there's a lot to tell."

Liz closed her eyes, she knew she was going to regret this, but…

"I'm sorry, of course there's still a lot for you to discuss. I'll go out, let you have the place to yourselves for a bit."

"No, Liz…really, you don't have to."

"I do – where else have you got to go?" Her tone was soft. She was onside – for now.

"Thanks Mum." Justin went over to her and hugged her.

"Jay…think carefully about all this won't you." She pushed him back and looked into his eyes.

"Try and think beyond today and tomorrow and be practical. Think about the friends you'll lose, where you'll live, what you'll do for money."

"Mum…"

"Think – that's all I'm saying." She got up off the sofa. Becca stood up.

"Liz…I…thank you. For listening today." She didn't know what else to say and nor did Liz.

"I'll see you later Jay…night Becca."

Chapter Two

Justin closed the door behind his Mum, leaning against it and sighing. Turning to face Becca, he smiled.

"It's really happening isn't it?" He didn't really need her reassurance, and yet he could still hardly believe it was real.

"It's really happening."

As he sat back down on the sofa, she crawled onto his lap.

"Hold me for a minute." He put his arms round her and she lay her head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat. Finding a sense of security in the rhythm, she felt calm for the first time in weeks. Finally she spoke.

"We do need to talk Justin. There's so much we have to discuss before I talk to Jake. This is going to change all our lives forever." She held her breath, wondering if this was the right moment to tell him her other news, but she decided against it for now.

"I've handed my notice in at work."

"What? You can't? But…" Justin was stunned.

"I can and I have. Think about it Justin – I have to. If we were ever found out, then I could end up in jail. I can go back to teaching in a while. Let the dust settle first, then see what comes up at another school or college."

"No Becca, why don't I leave? I could go to HCC like you suggested before?"

"No…you've had too many disruptions already. Besides, I need a break for a while. Dad left me and Nancy some money…" She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, talking about money, but she needed him to know that she would be OK, that he didn't have to provide for her.

"But we need to be careful what people are told Justin. The authorities can't ever know that this started when I was still your teacher. They'll suspect of course…everyone will suspect. But without our confirmation they'll never prove anything."

Justin exhaled loudly.

"Where will you live?" Will you keep the flat?" She shook her head.

"Too many memories and too expensive for me on my own. No, I'll find somewhere smaller to rent for now."

"But what about Nancy?" The enormity of their actions and the impact on so many other loves was finally beginning to dawn on him. Becca shook her head sadly.

"I don't know. Mum wants her back home, but you know Nancy! She's resisting…maybe she could stay with Nicole and her family. But I can't think about her Justin – I've spent too long thinking about everyone else and not myself. And if I think about Nancy and Mum…and Jake, I'll start to talk myself out of this and I can't. Not now."

He felt a momentary fear – this really was happening and he felt frustrated that Becca had so much to go through alone and he couldn't take any of the burden for her. Yes he could listen and support and comfort her, and he knew he was going to get plenty of abuse himself when people found out. But that guilt…that guilt would be borne by Becca alone, and that hurt him.

"So you're going to tell Jake about us…about me?"

"I have to. I owe it to him to be honest Justin." He knew she was right, but he was scared.

"I don't want you to do it alone. I know you have to but…I want to protect you from all this."

"I know you do." She looked up at him.

"This is the hardest bit. Once I've got that hurdle out of the way things will be easier."

"Where will Jake go? What if he wants to stay in the flat?" So many questions now, things Justin hadn't previously considered.

"He won't…he's never felt comfortable there…it's always felt on loan to him because of my Dad paying. He can go to the Dog and stay with his Mum. He'll be fine." She sounded more sure than she felt.

"I ought to go and see him now." It was the last thing she wanted to do, but she knew she had to.

"Come back afterwards…please? I need to see you…need to know you're OK."

"I don't know Justin…you need to talk to your Mum, and what if he follows me here? I'm not sure…"

"Please Becca…I don't want you to go through everything on you own. Promise you'll come back." She sighed and nodded – she needed to share this with him. After all, he was the one person that could comfort her, had always made her feel safe and secure.

As she made her way to the front door she thought of the task ahead. Jake, Nancy, her Mum, Mandy…so many people were going to be disappointed, so many people she'd be losing. But this was worth it…he was worth it…wasn't he?

Justin was washing up when he heard his Mum come home. He walked out to the lounge to greet her, and she responded with a hug.

"Oh Jay…I can't believe what a mess you've got yourself into…but I do love you. And I will support you. Both." He hugged her back, grateful for her positive reaction.

"I can't believe you're not my little boy anymore. You've grown up more than I realised."

"Sorry Mum…for not being able to tell you. But it was just such a big thing…I didn't know what was going to happen or how long it would last…I didn't want to spoil it by making it real only to have it thrown it back in my face."

Liz looked at her son, barely recognising the stranger that stared back at her, but feeling proud nonetheless. He was strong – everything he'd been through had toughened him up emotionally, that was evident. But was he aware of exactly what lay ahead? That was Liz's biggest concern at the moment.

"I assume Becca's telling Jake now?" Justin nodded, his stomach tightening at the thought.

"So did you talk then?" She was desperate to know what they'd discussed but didn't feel she could ask outright.

"Yes…she's resigned from the school." He exhaled loudly as he said this – he could still hardly believe it.

"She had to Jay…there's no other way. What will she do for money?"

"Her Dad's left her some, she's going to rent a smaller place for now. She will go back to teaching, but she said she needs a break for a while anyway."

"And what about you? How are you going to cope when people know? I can imagine that Jake will have a few choice words for you…not to mention Frankie? God, that woman'll have Becca for breakfast." Liz almost shuddered at the thought of Frankie, shouting the odds in public, exposing her family secrets.

"And at school? There'll be plenty said there too. Nancy and Nicole will have a field day."

"I know Mum, I know. But we'll get through it. We have to."

She knew that whatever her views on the future of this relationship, he needed her support and he needed to follow his heart. She would make sure she was there to pick up the pieces, and she was still sure she'd be doing that sooner rather than later. But for now she couldn't help but admire him…both of them, for their sheer bloody mindedness if nothing else.

"You know that the authorities may come sniffing round?" This was Liz's biggest concern.

"I know, we've talked about that. Becca has to tell Jake the truth, we know that…but without proof, without a statement from me, there's nothing they can do to Becca. And I'll never betray her. Never."

Liz kissed her son, knowing he meant every word.

"She's lucky to have you Jay. I hope she knows that."

Jake was watching TV when Becca got home.

"Where have you been? Your mobile was switched off…again. Mandy was looking for you too – said something about you and her meeting up? Is she OK? She seemed a bit stressed about something. Mind you, being married Tony you would be stressed wouldn't you?" He laughed at his own joke, not noticing that Becca wasn't saying anything.

"You alright babe? You look tired." He walked over to her.

" How about I run you a nice hot bath, and then we have an early night. It was horrible having no privacy at your Mum's house…and we've got plenty of lost time to make up for…." He grinned as he pulled her towards him. She stiffened and pulled away.

"No Jake, no." Something in the tone of her voice made him listen. This was more than tired. She sounded….defeated? He looked at her again – she was really suffering. Pale, dark eyed…looked like she'd been crying again too. He kicked himself for not being more understanding. She needed more time, of course she did. She wasn't going to get over her dad's death that quickly.

"We need to talk Jake. Really talk. No interruptions, no TV, no mobile 'phones to distract us. We have to talk…now."

This Becca sounded far stronger than she looked. He wondered if he should feel afraid?

"What is it? What's wrong?" he looked at her hoping to find the answer on her face.

"Us Jake. We're wrong." A single tear slid down her cheek as she watched Jake's stunned expression tell her that he had not expected this.

"Becca…" he didn't know how to respond.

"Let me talk Jake, please. Hear me out."

He listened as she spoke about her long buried feelings about Lisa, her doubts about the wedding, difficulty adapting to married life. How she felt about his family, but more importantly how she felt about herself. This was a new Becca – he realised now that he'd never really got to know her, but instead was just so proud to have this attractive and intelligent woman on his arm. He was angry at himself for not appreciating her fully before, but grateful that she was giving him this second chance.

"I'm sorry Becca…for not valuing you more. No, for not listening to you more. But now I know, things can change. We can make it work Becca…we can make us work." She looked at him and gently shook her head.

"That's just it Jake. I don't want it to work." She paused for a moment and let the words sink in.

"It's over."

So that was it – no tears, no fuss. She was telling him his marriage was over as matter of factly as she'd tell him they'd run out of milk. He started to protest, then realised that it was no good, that he'd lost her for good. She was different…more steely, determined. Something had changed her, and he couldn't put it all down to her dad's death. Maybe it wasn't something, but someone? No, that was ridiculous – where would she find the time? Between him and school and Nancy and – he laughed at this – Justin bloody Burton…she barely had time to herself anyway.

Suddenly a thought struck him. No….no that was too stupid. But was it?

"Becca…is there someone else?"

This was the bit she'd been dreading, but it was the most important part she knew. It was also the most explosive. She nodded.

"Tell me it isn't Justin bloody Burton. Tell me you wouldn't do that to me Becca, please."

"I can't Jake." The impact of her words slowly sunk in. Jake was incredulous and yet, like Liz, there was a bit of him that wasn't surprised. Hadn't he suspected something all those months ago at the trial? How long had been doing this, laughing behind his back. He was going to give Justin the beating of his life just as soon as he got his hands on him.

"It's not what you think…"she started.

"And how would you know what I was thinking? You clearly don't even know what you're thinking Becca. Sleeping with a schoolboy? A boy who stalked you, who hid in our house and threatened you, who was on trial for murder, a junkie?" His voice had risen to a shout now.

"What on earth were you thinking? Have you gone mad?"

"No. I love him." That was the most painful thing he'd ever heard her say.

"How long."

"How long what?"

"Don't play the innocent with me Becca – how long have you to been taking me for a fool, deceiving me, laughing at me. Since the Summer obviously? Before he got arrested…and that's why you lied to me so you could go and see him." A sudden thought occurred to him.

"Before the wedding? Before we got married? You hypocrite, after all you said about Lisa!" He was angry now…really angry.

"No…not then. Christmas. We had one night together at Christmas…" For the second time that day she was explaining her 'moment of madness' and how she pushed him away, only to realise that he was the person she wanted to be with.

"Oh my God…that's where you were when I couldn't find you? When your dad died? You were in his bed while your dad was dying? How can you live with yourself Becca?"

"That's not fair Jake." That was below the belt, but typical of him. He knew that too and apologised.

"Look – we have a lot to discuss…the house, everything. But not tonight, please? We both need to sleep on this…talk again tomorrow with a clear head." He knew she was right and he knew he was defeated.

"But I love you Becca…" he knew it was no use, but felt it was worth one more try.

"Then if you love me please give me space. And Jake? Promise me you'll stay away from Justin. Please?"

He agreed…for now anyway.

"I'm not ready to face Mum just yet. I think I'll go and stay with Phil from work tonight…let you stay in the flat in peace. It is yours after all…"

She resisted the temptation to respond and instead busied herself tidying the lounge while he packed his bags.

He stood by the front door, rucksack in hand.

"I'll see you tomorrow then? You will still be here? Won't have eloped with lover boy?" He was being childish and he knew it, but under the circumstances he hoped she appreciated how restrained he was being. He was angry.

"I'll be here Jake. And we'll talk some more then."

"What about your Mum? Nancy? When will you tell them?"

"Tomorrow. When we've finalised everything." Finalised. The 'F' word. She was really serious – he knew there would be no turning back for Becca.

"OK. I'll be back around lunchtime. See ya." And with a slam of the door he was gone.

Justin looked at the clock and then back at his 'phone. He knew he shouldn't ring her, but he was getting worried. Presumably she was still with him or else he'd have been round here by now. Unless he'd talked her round? He knew that wasn't likely, but he was still afraid of believing this 100. Not until they walked down the street as a couple would he believe it was real. Liz watched her son, could see that he was worried. She was too – she'd heard before that Jake had a temper, but surely he wouldn't hit Becca? No…the events of the day were clouding her judgement, that was all.

"You OK Jay?" she knew he wasn't, but didn't know what else to say?

"Fine." He sounded anything but.

"Just a bit impatient…you know me!" His attempt at humour fell flat.

They sat in silence, both thinking over the past few hours. A loud knock on the door shocked them both. Justin virtually flew at the door, assuming it would be Becca and not even considering it could be anyone else. His optimism was rewarded as he opened the door to a tired looking Becca.

"It's done." She fell into his arms gratefully as they embraced on the doorstep.

"Come in."

As they walked into the lounge, Liz stood up.

"I'm off to bed now. I'll leave you two to it."

"Thanks Liz." Becca smiled gratefully, aware that their relationship had changed in the past few hours, and surprised that she had found such a good friend.

"Look…I'm not sure what your plans are tonight Becca, but if you need somewhere to stay…well, you're welcome to stay here."

With Liz safely in bed they could relax and talk at last.

"I still can't believe I've done it Justin. I'm…free!" Becca smiled at him.

"I can't believe it either. When you came round today I really thought you were going to end it. I thought it was over Becca." He leant across and kissed her gently, brushing her away from her face. Pulling away to look in her eyes, he cupped her face gently in both hands.

"I love you." He kissed her again, running his tongue gently across her lips to open her mouth. Finally they were tasting each other, and all the tensions of the day turned to passion as they locked into this embrace. He pushed her back on the sofa, pressing himself into her and kissing her harder.

"Justin no…not here" she struggled to sit up.

"The last thing we need now is for your Mum to catch us like this."

He looked sheepish.

"Let's go to bed…I just need to hold you Becca, to feel you. We can talk there." She smiled.

They laid awake for hours, kissing lazily and recounting the events of the day. It was easy, comfortable…and safe. Liz's act of kindness meant a lot to both of them – they needed this time to be intimate. Not to have sex – their relationship had shifted to a deeper level now that Becca had made such a public statement - but just to enjoy being with each other like every normal couple could.

"I can't believe that when I wake up tomorrow morning you'll still be here Becca. You won't be rushing away…we won't have to hide." He kissed her gently.

"I know…this is the way it is now. This is it…"

They finally drifted off to sleep, holding hands and smiling through their dreams.

Chapter 3

Becca was self conscious going down to breakfast and facing Liz in the cold light of day. She needn't have been – Liz was discreet and sensitive to their need for space, leaving them alone as she headed off for a 'long day' of shopping.

"So what happens now?" Justin asked Becca over coffee.

"I need to talk to Jake – we need to sort out practicalities. The flat, money…divorce." She winced a little as she heard herself say this – it was the first time she'd said it out loud.

"Then I have to tell Mum and Nancy. And Mandy…"

They had spoken about Mandy and Tony and the pressure that they had put on Justin in Becca' absence She knew that this was going to put their friendship to the ultimate test and she wasn't confident that it would withstand her bombshell. She really needed Mandy at this moment – needed a friend, needed some support. But Justin came first – he was more important than anyone else to her and she knew that he would always be there for her. Rock solid.

"Are you gonna be OK?" He asked as he saw her out. She nodded, even though they both knew that OK was the last thing she was going to be for the next few hours.

"I just feel so helpless Becca – is there really nothing I can do today? As he said it, he knew he had to sit and wait. But this was agonising for him. He wanted, no needed to show her that he could support her, that she could rely on him.

"You know I have to do this on my own…but it's you I'll be coming back to, just as soon I've spoken to everyone."

He watched her back as she walked down the stairs. Less than 24 hours ago

he was watching her walk up the same stairs, convinced that she was about to break his heart and tell him it was over. And now he was watching her as she went out to tell the world about them. He was scared but he was happy. He knew that whatever happened she would come back to him and whatever was thrown at them, they would face together. He knew that sooner or later he would have to face Jake and he was certain that fists would be involved. But that was OK - he knew he'd do the same in Jake's shoes and besides, Becca was worth taking a punch for.

He made his way back into the house and headed for the shower, suddenly aware of how tired he felt. How must poor Becca be feeling? He would make a fuss of her tonight, run her a nice bath, cook dinner, maybe even give her a massage. That thought made him stop – how could he do that while his Mum was around? She was great last night – she'd appreciated their need for some time and space, but she wasn't going to make the place so readily available every night. This was still their family home – 4 of them lived there and privacy would be hard to come by. He supposed it would be different once Becca had her own place, but even then… It was going to be a long time before this relationship felt equal to him – before he could give Becca the lifestyle he wanted to give her, the one she deserved. He sighed…this was not going to be as easy as he thought.

The shower did little to wake him, and he found himself lying on the sofa waiting for Becca to return. He must have dozed off, as he was woken by his Mum standing over him.

"Jay…Jay?" he looked up at her, still not entirely convinced that he hadn't dreamt the whole thing.

"Mum. What time is it?"

"4 o'clock. Jay, you need to wake up." As he struggled to pull himself together there was a knock at the door. Becca!

"I'll go." He was certainly awake now. Liz pushed him back down.

"No – I'll go. You just be quiet – and stay out of sight!"

He didn't need to ask what she meant – as she opened the door he could hear Frankie screeching.

"Where's that son of yours? Just you wait 'til I get my hands on him." He could hear another low voice, a male voice. Jake! No…he strained to hear more…it was Jack, trying to calm Frankie down by the sounds of it. He could hear his Mum saying that he was out, that yes, she had heard and that she thought it was best that they all stayed out of it and let Becca, Jake and Justin sort this out amongst themselves."

"How can he expect me not to get involved? That's my son's wife he's been playing away with – what is it with the men in your family that they can't keep it in their trousers. Maybe Richard was more of a father figure to him than you realised!" He heard his Mum's sharp intake of breath before she slammed the door in Frankie's face.

"You see what you've started Jay?" she was angry as she walked back in the lounge. "Everything this family has gone through will be thrown back in our faces – in my face. They're going to wonder what sort of Mother I am that you turned out like this!" she was crying now.

"Mum! I've done nothing wrong."

"Done nothing wrong! Jay – you've broken up someone's marriage. You've had an affair with an older woman, a married woman, your teacher! You've broken the law. Don't tell me that's not wrong!"

"Mum…what I feel for Becca…loving Becca…that isn't wrong." He spoke quietly and determinedly and she couldn't help but admire him. She thought again about Essex – the job, the flat she'd lined up. Now more than ever she wanted to leave Hollyoaks, but the Burton's had never run away from their problems in the past – and they weren't about to start now.

"I know Jay and I'm sorry…but you need to take some responsibility for your actions. Especially when they affect the rest of your family. I don't know what the girls will say…" And she truly didn't. They weren't without their own problems, but they were very protective of their younger brother. Mel wouldn't have much to say – she'd bury her head in the sand…or the nearest bottle of vodka more likely. But Sophie…she couldn't second guess how she'd react. She hoped she'd be supportive – she was acknowledged as the reasonable one, the intelligent one. She could help get people onside, couldn't she?

"The news is all over the village Jay, that's what I came home to tell you. Jake's obviously told his family, and that's not going to be the last we hear from Frankie I'm sure."

"Becca? Have you seen her is she OK?" He was worried now – she said Jake had been too calm yesterday. What if he'd flipped today?"

"She was going into Mandy's last time I saw her. I know what you're thinking about Jake. I don't think you have to worry about what he'll do to Becca…but you probably need to keep your head down." She frowned at the thought of Jake and what he might do to her son, but she knew that some kind of recrimination was inevitable. This was getting messier and messier.

"So…" Was Becca imagining it or was Mandy's tone frosty as she let her in?

"Well, it's done." Becca sat down on the sofa, aware of how exhausted she was and what a battle still lay ahead.

"I heard." A heavy tension hung in the air and Becca knew Mandy was not going to make this easy.

"Look Becca…I do want to understand this, really I do, but I just can't make sense of it. I mean…what are you thinking? Jake's everything a girl could wish for and he's besotted with you. And Justin? He's a child Becca. A child. I'm sure you're still hurting – I know how I felt after my Mum died and it makes you a bit…I don't know…it makes you do things that aren't really you." Her voice softened a little now.

"Becca, I think you need help. And I'm here to support you, really I am. But you need to get rid of Justin. You need to stop this silly fantasy and get back in the real world before this gets even more out of hand. You could lose your job Becca, you could even end up in prison. Have you really thought this through?"

Becca exhaled…a long, slow breath.

"I've thought about nothing else. No, I've thought about no-one else for months Mandy. You know me…you know that I would never do anything rash or stupid, that I'd never rush into anything without being aware of the pitfalls. Mandy, I love him. And I've loved him for a long time. Long enough to know that I'm doing the right thing. Long enough to know that I'll have to make sacrifices and that I'll hurt people. And long enough to know that I'll lose everything if I have to…just as long as I don't lose him."

Mandy was surprised by the quiet strength of her friend's tone.

"We really need your support Mandy. God knows we're going to face enough hostility as it is. We could do with some friends."

"We? Since when has Justin been my friend Becca? Have you forgotten that Jake's my friend too? How will it look to him if I just switch allegiance overnight? How can I support you and Justin and still look Jake in the eye?"

"I know I'm asking a lot of you Mandy…and perhaps it was foolish of me asking you to consider Justin a friend too. But I need your friendship Mandy. I need you." This was harder than Becca had thought it was going to be. She loved Justin with all her heart, but she needed a friend too. The thought of going through all this without Mandy was heartbreaking. She was scared and she needed to know that she wasn't alone.

Mandy looked at her friend, seeing the turmoil and pain on her face.

"Oh Becca…" she walked over and sat next to her, giving her a hug.

"I do want to understand this, really I do…"

"Then listen to me. Let me tell you how it happened, then you can make up your mind."

As she started her now familiar story of how and why she ended up falling in love with Justin Burton, she wondered what he was doing and how he was feeling right now. All she wanted was to go home to him and let him hold her and look after her. She had so much to tell him – Jake, her Mum, Nancy, Mandy, aware that he'd have so many questions of his own. She was tired of all this – as soon as she left here she was going to go home and have a nice long soak. And then she'd invite Justin over so they could really catch up. She still hadn't told him everything and she felt deceitful already. But she needed to get as many people as possible onside before she dropped that particular bombshell.

Mandy poured herself a glass of wine, her mind reeling with all that Becca had told her. She had real misgivings about this, not entirely sure that she was doing the right thing. Yet she had to admit that she knew Becca loved him. Listening to Becca talk about Justin, she thought back to her early days with Jake, remembering some of the conversations they had then. She'd never spoken about Jake like that, had never seemed so…alive as she did when she was speaking about Justin. She recalled the way they were when she broke the news to Becca about her Father's death. The way she clung to Justin as they sat together on the sofa, the way she absent mindedly stroked his arm while she was talking. The way they looked so…complete. She sighed. It was an awful thing to admit…but she was jealous of them. Of the passion that she had witnessed between them certainly, but also of the trust and comfort that Becca so obviously found in him. She was jealous that they had both. She'd chosen comfort over passion and excitement when she'd married Tony, believing that you can't have it all. But looking at Becca and Justin, and despite all the bad times she knew they would have to face, she envied them what they had. And she hated herself for that.

Becca lay back amongst the bubbles, feeling calmer than she had in a long time. Mandy was struggling to accept them as a couple, but she was there for Becca and that was something. Mum and Nancy had been a different matter altogether, but she knew her Mum would come round eventually. Especially when she told her about her last conversation with her Dad that weekend. He'd understood. Nancy she wasn't so sure about, but then at her age she wasn't sure she'd have been able to deal with this. It was going to be hard for her at school, she knew that. And she worried about the effect it was going to have on Justin too. Now more than ever he needed to stay focused and keep his head down. She laughed at herself – now she was sounding like his teacher again!

Drying herself off, she felt those familiar pangs of excitement at the thought of seeing him again. She had thought about trying to sleep so she'd feel a bit more refreshed when he came round, but she couldn't wait any longer. This had been the longest – and most crucial - 24 hours of her life and she needed to spend some time on her own with him now. With no interruptions. There was still one very important conversation they had to have.

"I'm off to Becca's Mum…I'll see you later." Justin shouted up the stairs.

"What time will you be back?" Liz came down to see her son.

"Dunno…" Justin shrugged uneasily. "Tomorrow morning…?" This was more new territory and he was a little embarrassed.

"Oh Jay…" Liz sighed. "This is all moving so fast. I know you love her, but are you really ready for all of this? Surely now it's all out in the open you can relax a bit…take your time?" Even as she said this, she knew her words would have no effect on him. He had been a strong-willed child and now he was a strong-willed man, confident and assured in his opinions. He looked up at her as if reading her mind.

"Ok…" she exhaled "I don't suppose it's worth me trying to convince you otherwise is it?"

"No." He leant across and kissed her cheek. "Night Mum."

As he walked across the street to Becca's flat he could hardly believe that everything he'd dreamed about was coming true. They were a real couple now…open, free. And now he was about to walk through her front door as an invited guest. As her guest.

Becca opened the door and ushered him in quickly.

"What's the matter? People know about us now." Justin was surprised at how uncomfortable she seemed to be seen letting him into the flat.

"Old habits I guess?" she shrugged before kissing him. "I still can't believe it myself."

Walking into the lounge, Justin frowned. He hadn't really thought too much about how it would feel being in the flat, given that it was something he thought would never happen. But now he was here, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was still Becca and Jake's flat, that he shouldn't be here. It didn't help that the wedding photos were still out and Jake's possessions were scattered around.

She followed his gaze around the room, trying to see it through his eyes.

"I…I haven't moved anything yet." Becca looked uncomfortable. "He'll need to come back and get his stuff, and…"

"And you didn't want to look like you'd wiped his memory out completely? That's OK, I understand." Justin held his hand out to her. "I'm just so happy to be here with you." He kissed her, uncomfortably aware of Jake's eyes on him from all corners of the room. He hoped those photos came down soon….

All her plans for their evening together and _that_ conversation had gone out of the window as soon as he arrived. Just having him close to her and feeling safe and secure at last, she was finally able to relax for the first time in days. And as she relaxed she was overwhelmed by the tiredness – she'd been running on adrenaline and it seemed it was finally running out. She lay back against him on the sofa and fell asleep until he woke her up 2 hours later.

"Becca…" he whispered to her. Opening one sleepy eye she looked up at him. "I think you'd be more comfortable in bed. Come on." He scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom. It was the first time he'd been in here and he was aware yet again of another invisible line he'd crossed. He laid her down on the bed, unsure what to do next - suddenly staying here seemed very presumptuous.

"Do you want me to go Becca? Or if you don't want to stay here alone tonight I can sleep on the couch?" He held his breath, hoping she wouldn't take him up on that offer.

She shook her head and he smiled gratefully, slipping in beside her. Pulling her close he kissed the top of her head.

"I love you." He whispered as she fell asleep.

Chapter 4

Jake wasn't enjoying staying on his friend's sofa. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more angry he got. Why was he the one who had to leave? OK, Becca's Dad had helped them get that flat, but he'd always paid his way hadn't he? Why should he be the one to suffer? She was the one who'd cheated after all. Let her go and stay with her schoolboy in his teenage bedroom and single bed. He sneered. The thought of that boy in his bed…but she wouldn't do that to him, he was sure of that. She wouldn't be that insensitive. Would she?

His mood only got worse as he made the journey back to the flat, the traffic conspiring against him and darkening his already bleak mood. He wasn't sure if she'd be there or not, but he thought that by going before work he at least had an excuse not to stay. There was still so much he wanted to say but he knew that now wasn't the time. He was too emotional, too wound up and if he wasn't careful he'd snap and he was desperate to avoid that. In the back of his mind was the thought that Becca and Justin couldn't last, and if he could just be patient…she'd come back. He was disappointed in himself for being so weak, but the truth was he loved Becca, whatever she'd done and he knew that in time he'd get over this. He also knew that in time he'd get even with Justin Burton…he was just biding his time.

He hesitated at the door – should he knock or should he use his keys? It was still his home after all. Letting himself in the flat he noticed how quiet it was. That was good, she'd obviously left for work already which meant he could relax a little. Opening the bedroom door, he was greeted by the sight of his worst nightmares, the sight that had dominated his every waking thought these past few days.

"Jake?" Justin had woken up as soon as he'd heard the door open, and this was not the face he wanted to wake up to this morning. He stood up, grateful that he was at least wearing his boxers.

"What? Jake?" Becca opened her eyes, hoping this was still a dream yet knowing it wasn't.

"You bitch…" his voice was low and full of venom. "You bitch!" he was shouting now and clenching his fists. "I'm gonna kill you Burton."

"Jake no!" Becca screamed as Jake lunged for Justin and his fist connected with his face. As Justin crumpled to the floor she could see Jake's rage take over as he pummelled and kicked him, seemingly unstoppable. Struggling into her dressing gown she ran over to them, afraid that Jake may hurt her too but desperate to get to Justin.

"Leave him alone. Oh my god…" Becca's hands flew to her face as she saw the bloody mess where Justin's face used to be. His body was a mass of blood too and she knew they'd have to get him to a hospital.

As Jake raised his fist once more she grabbed hold of his arm.

"Stop it!" she screamed. "Stop it now." She could hear Justin groaning and whimpering on the floor.

Jake whirled round and flung her across the room.

"Jake?" She was afraid now. She had never seen him like this before and started to cry. He slapped her across the face, the sound shocking him into silence at last. They looked at each other in silence for a moment, Becca desperate to get to Justin but afraid that Jake might hit her again.

"Becca I'm sorry…"Jake was weeping now, wondering how he could have let himself be so stupid. "Becca, please…"

"Call an ambulance Jake. Now!"

"Becca, I…"

"Jake, an ambulance…"

Cradling Justin's head in her lap she stroked his blood streaked hair.

"It's OK, it's OK…" she soothed as if talking to a baby. "Ssshhh, it'll be OK."

He opened one puffy bruised eye and looked up at her.

"He hit you."

"Ssshhh, it's OK, I'm OK."

"But I couldn't help you Becca. He hit you and I didn't protect you." He winced as a salty tear slid down his face, stinging the many cuts.

"Oh Justin." She kissed his hair and carried on rocking him until the paramedics arrived.

They stretchered him into the ambulance with Becca following shakily behind. Once Justin was settled, the paramedic turned his attentions to her, looking at the hand mark cross her face and rapidly swelling eye.

"I think we ought to get the Doctor to look at you too. Are you hurt anywhere else?" Becca shook her head.

"No really, I'm fine. I just want to make sure Justin's OK."

"He's going to be taken care of now, so let us take care of you. Do you have any other injuries? Did he hit you anywhere else?"

"Yes…" they looked up, startled at Justin's croaky words. "Why are you protecting him Becca? He threw you across the room…tell them."

The paramedic looked back at Becca.

"Is this true?"

"I'm fine, honestly. It was just a shove. I'm OK. Really."

"Well we'd better get you X-rayed, just in case. Justin's going to X-ray anyway, you can keep him company." The paramedic laughed at his own joke.

"I can't…" Becca whispered.

"I'm sorry?" The paramedic looked up from his paperwork.

"I can't…have an X-Ray."

"Why not?" Justin asked breathlessly.

"Because….because I'm pregnant."

Becca was nervous about facing Liz at the hospital, knowing that she'd blame

her for Justin's beating. She did feel responsible, especially as Justin was refusing to press charges. In his mind this was a noble punishment that he had to accept – he knew he'd done wrong and he knew this was the price he had to pay. As far as he was concerned they were now equal him and Jake. Becca had shivered when he told her this…she wasn't so sure, especially when he heard the latest news. She put her hand over her stomach, wondering what kind of mess she was bringing this child into.

Justin opened his eyes at that moment.

"What's the matter? Is everything OK?" he struggled to sit up, the bandages and his broken ribs ensuring he didn't get very far.

"Ssshhh, it's OK." Becca smiled up at him and held his hand. "How are you feeling now?"

"I wasn't sure if I'd dreamt that." He looked at her. "Becca…I have to ask…the baby…" He was floundering, but he needed to know for sure.

She squeezed his hand.

"It's yours."

He smiled and punched the air, wincing with the effort.

"Ouch!"

"So…you don't mind? I know I should have told you before, but…there was so much going on and then last night I was just so tired…"

"It's amazing Becca. I'm going to be a Dad. We're going to be parents. It's fantastic." He couldn't help but shed a tear as they laughed and kissed and cried together.

"Am I missing something?" Liz's voice broke the mood. "I didn't realise 3 broken ribs, 2 black eyes and a broken arm were so funny."

"Liz, I…" Liz shot her a look, stopping her in her tracks.

"No need to ask who's handiwork this was. Jake."

Becca nodded.

"Mum I knew it was coming, I expected it. I deserved it."

"What is the matter with you Jay? Nobody deserves this. Look at the state of you, he could have killed you. How do you know he won't do it again? The next time he sees you, or the first time he sees the pair of you out as a couple, or…" she trailed off. "This is such a mess Jay…is it really worth it?"

Becca felt stung by Liz's words but could understand her concern. She was worried herself after all.

"He hit Becca too Mum."

Liz looked at Becca, seeing the black eye and swollen lip for the first time.

"Becca I'm sorry." She sounded genuine. "But I'm not happy about this. Justin's taking on so much for a boy of his age...where's it all going to end?"

Becca held her breath. They needed Liz's support more than ever now, and she knew that keeping news about the baby from her for too long could make them look deceitful. But seeing how concerned she was now about Justin's involvement with her made her wonder if there would ever be a good time?

"Mum…"

"Justin…" Becca gave him a warning glance.

"What? What else is going on? What are you keeping from me?" Liz looked from Justin to Becca. "Well? Is anyone going to tell me?"

They were saved by the Nurse, coming in to check on Justin."

"The Doctor said that we're to keep you in for observation for the next 4 hours and provided nothing changes you can go home."

As the nurse left the room, the three of them looked at each other once more.

"Home. That means home with me Jay."

He looked at his Mum and then at Becca.

"Mum…we need to talk to you."

"Don't even go there Jay, not today."

"What do you mean?"

"Let me guess...you're moving in together? And that's going to make Jake feel better is it? No way, over my dead body Jay. Not while you're at school. Not until after your A-levels."

"Liz, I'm selling the flat and getting a new place. I've got the money. I don't want Justin to leave school either." As Becca heard herself speak she was struck by the impracticality of their situation. Her money wouldn't last forever and then what would she do? First things first. A few months ago they would never have dreamed they'd get this far. They'd make it work, she felt sure of that.

"But I do want Justin to move in with me."

"I can't condone this Becca. Whatever you feel for Justin, you must know that this will have a detrimental effect on his education? No, don't tell me – he'll get access to as much after hours tuition as he needs!" Liz laughed, a hollow bitter laugh.

"What was I thinking, supporting and encouraging you? I should have put my foot down right away and put a stop to this when you told me. Becca I simply cannot allow this to continue. If you feel anything for Justin you'll leave him alone, let him finish his education in peace. If you're that convinced you're destined to be together then you can wait. What's another year?"

"We haven't got a year Mum."

"What do you mean, 'haven't got a year'? Honestly…"

Forcing himself to sit up now, Justin laid his hand across Becca's stomach.

"We're going to be a family."

Chapter 5

That was it, the last of the boxes in. He closed the door and looked around the small flat. Their flat...his and Becca's. He allowed himself a smile as he thought back over the past year. The time last year he was waiting for his GCSE results, Becca was about to get married and Ali and Macki were still alive. Last year he was known for having a crush on Mrs Dean...this year he was known for being her teenage lover. The pair of them had endured gossip and harsh criticism these past few months, even more so when news of the baby broke. But they had stuck to their guns, and as they had vowed they would, they started their new life together.

Jake was back in the flat for now while it was on the market, and Nancy was spending the holidays with her Mum, then moving in with Nicole and her family before the new term started. They were happy for her to stay while she finished her final year of school, grateful for another person in the house, the noise and interaction filling the gaps that Sam had left. And him and Becca? They were in their own place at last, having spent an agonising three months waiting while the formalities were resolved. A strange time really - him living half at hers and her staying with him and his Mum. He had been worried about how that would work, but Becca seemed to take comfort from the female company, especially as she was so far from her own Mum. He had yet to meet Becca's Mum, both of them agreeing that a softly softly approach was needed where she was concerned. A meeting was inevitable and they all felt it would be best before the baby was born...but nobody was committing to it yet.

Becca walked into the lounge and smiled, the swell of her stomach now visible beneath her loose t-shirt.

"All done now?"

"Well they're in...now we just have to unpack." He sighed and rubbed his face. It had been a long day and although he was excited he was also impatient, and wanted the flat to be cosy and homely already. At the moment it was white and stark and filled with boxes. He was suddenly aware of how easy he'd had it at home, and how much he'd now be doing for himself, especially with Becca pregnant. He knew he couldn't wrap her up in cotton wool but he'd always told her he'd look after her, protect her, and now he finally had his chance.

"We've got plenty of time for that, it can wait 'til morning. Besides, I've got a surprise for you..." she took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

"When did you do this?" He looked around the room, amazed at how homely she'd made it. The bed was made, there were brightly coloured prints on the wall and a vase of flowers on the chest of drawers.

"Becca it's..." he looked around again, taking in his new home. "It's fantastic!" he pulled her close and kissed her, enjoying the feel of her swollen stomach against his muscled one. As they pulled apart he looked round room once more, noticing the empty space she had left by the window.

"Is that for the crib?"

She nodded.

They had been worried about space but they could ill afford the additional rent an extra bedroom would cost. They were being very careful with the money Becca's Dad had left her and Justin had spent the Summer working on a building site so he could contribute. Liz had helped too, cashing in an old insurance policy and giving them a lump sum. Not a life saving amount by any means, but enough to cushion the blow for a bit. They didn't have to buy much for the baby - Mandy and Tony had decided that lovely as Grace was, they were happy with just the one, so tomorrow they were taking delivery of the crib, the car seat and all those other expensive necessities. Becca had taken a few weeks off at the start, but had soon got bored. She'd been temping with Liz and Louise at the college, but had now managed to secure a locum teaching job for the first half of the Autumn term. She'd have to give up work after then anyway as the baby was due on New Years Eve.

"Perfect. And still plenty of room left over for you and me" They kissed again, a deeper embrace this time, Justin pulling Becca towards the bed.

"Looks like it needs christening to me...?" he grinned at her.

"Mmmmm..!" Becca pressed herself into him, running her hands across his muscular chest.

"But not 'til you've had a bath!"

He laid back in the bath and sighed, sipping on the beer that Becca had brought him in. Could life get any better than this? He had the woman of his dreams, they had a home of their own, a baby on the way, and they were happy. He smiled as he thought of Becca waiting for him in the bedroom next door, thinking how much he was enjoying the changes in her body as their child grew inside her. He remembered the first time they made love after she'd told him about the baby. He was scared of hurting her, yet had never wanted her as much as he did then. Everything seemed so much more intense knowing that they'd created a life together. Every kiss, every touch was loaded with so much more than lust and passion. Whatever he'd felt before, he knew that this time they were truly making love. He was embarrassed to admit this, but it was also the first time he'd really felt like a man. He knew what his responsibilities were and he knew that he was more than capable of rising to that particular challenge.

Drying himself off, he looked at his face in the mirror, thinking for the second time that day how much had changed for him this past year. He was only 17 years old yet he'd lived a lifetime already – the drugs, the violence, the time in prison awaiting trial for murder, and now a baby on the way by his teacher. His married teacher at that. It was the stuff that daytime talk shows were made of – Trisha would have a field day with him! But with Becca's love he'd risen above that. Back in the days before she loved him…well, before she knew she loved him. She'd seen into his soul and knew there was something good there, even when he couldn't see it himself. Her dogged belief in him coupled with the risks she took to defend him, made him realise that he could change his life, could prove them all wrong. He had known since then that she loved him…Becca just took a little more convincing.

The rest of the Summer seemed to pass in a blur of busy days and long hot evenings. The heat in the flat was stifling and they spent most nights out by the river, looking up at the stars talking about their, their hopes and dreams for the future. They were excited about the baby but scared too, both of them for different reasons. Becca was the more practical of the two and worried about money and childcare when she returned to work. For Justin it was more about how he could stay focused and finish his A-levels when all he wanted to do was stay at home with Becca and the baby. His Mum kept telling him that he had an idealised view of parenthood, but he was desperate for a family of his own, desperate to give his own child the love he'd missed from his own Dad.

As good as the Summer had been, it made it the return to school even harder for him. He'd never really made friends there, and what with Ali dying and the time he'd missed while in prison…he'd become alienated from his classmates long before he got involved with Becca. And now things had moved on again. He'd already moved far beyond the first kisses and first heartbreak that his classmates were going through, and before this year was out he would be a Father.

All too soon it was back to the real world. Summer had acted as a kind of equaliser for them – both of them going out to work each day, earning money and contributing to their home. But putting his uniform on that first day Justin felt embarrassed – now the differences between them were visible once more, and he was uncomfortable about it.

They had discussed what he would do after A-levels, and Justin was insistent that he would go to work. Doing what, he hadn't decided yet, but he knew that they would need his salary. Becca wasn't entirely happy about this, but knew it was the most practical solution in the sort-term. They idea was that once they were more established financially, he would go to college. That all seemed too far away for Justin who was struggling enough just getting through each day. Particularly this week…

Becca had been to see her Mum a couple of times since her split with Jake and despite the circumstances, she was excited about her daughter's pregnancy. So far, Justin had been off-topic, referred to only fleetingly and with a faintly disapproving tone. However, they all knew that sooner or later they had to meet and Becca had arranged that they would visit her this weekend. They were meeting on neutral territory, having lunch in a local restaurant, and neither were looking forward to it. Justin knew that that the pressure was on him. It was never going to be easy for Margaret to accept him, but he knew that one false move and he could set things back for years. He didn't care what Margaret thought, but Becca did, and the thought of letting Becca down, of hurting her, was too much.

They were quiet over breakfast, both of them nervous and knowing the other felt the same. They were getting the train down there as Becca no longer had access to a car. Something else that made Justin feel inferior. He was old enough to drive now, but knew that the money he would have spent on lessons should really be saved for the baby. It hurt him though – that he couldn't drive her there, knowing how tired the journey would make her…not to mention the stress. He also wondered what Margaret would think? How could he convince her that he was serious about looking after her daughter when simple things like this suggested otherwise?

The silence continued on their journey, heightening the tension. When they did speak they were snappy and irritable with one another. Justin sighed. If they carried on like this the meeting would definitely be a disaster. He reached for her hand and squeezed it.

"You OK?"

"Yes…sorry." She squeezed his hand back and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm a bit nervous…just feels weird seeing her without my Dad there, and being pregnant and…"

"And me being here with you instead of Jake?"

"Sorry. It's just that so much has changed and so quickly and I worry about how Mum will cope that's all. I just wish she'd had more time to get used to each change before the next one came along…"

He knew what she meant – Margaret's world had been turned upside down in a matter of week, but so had Becca's and she was his priority, not Margaret. But as he reminded himself, Margaret accepting them as a couple was important to Becca and he was going to do his best to charm her.

"She'll be fine Becca. She's not frozen you out and she's not refusing to meet me. It could be worse you know." He didn't actually know how because right now he couldn't think of anything worse than going head to head with her. Unless it was going head to head with Jake… That fight had done them both a favour in some ways as Margaret had decided immediately that Jake's reaction was extreme and unacceptable and as he had that capacity for violence then he would never have made a suitable husband for Becca. That didn't mean she automatically approved of him though.

As the train pulled into the station she looked at him and smiled nervously.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

They'd had to wait for a cab and arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes late to find her already at the table. If she was annoyed she did a good job of hiding it and they were both silently grateful. Conversation was forced as they considered the menu and Margaret made little effort to talk to him. Justin was unsure what to do and looked at Becca, wishing she could read his mind. Should he try and start a conversation or wait until he was included? Becca must have sensed this as she started talking about the flat and how they'd made it their home, pulling him in gently with questions and affirmations. He resisted the temptation to speak only to Becca and directed all of his replies to Margaret, looking her in the eye whenever she deemed to look at him. He had nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of and wanted her to know that.

"And what does your Mother think about all this Justin? Is she over the shock now?"

What kind of a question was that?

"She's been, er…very supportive. Of both of us." He smiled at Becca. "She thinks she's too young to be a Gran though." He groaned inwardly as soon as he heard himself say this and looked across at Becca who seemed to be suppressing a smile. He tried again.

"Obviously it's not what she would have wanted for me….I mean, not Becca, she loves her…I mean the baby…not that she doesn't want us to have it, I mean at this age…at my age." He felt like it was going from bad to worse- could he have sounded anymore idiotic? "I mean, she wasn't happy with how we got together, or the timing but she's seen how happy we are. She knows we're right together." He held his breath as soon as he said this, wondering if he'd gone too far.

Margaret smiled sadly at him. "Well…let's hope you're right dear." Her words hung heavy in the air as lunch was served.


End file.
